Fuck our corny ass albums of the year list brah.

I mean that with all due disrespect, fuck your list. Nobody cares you, along with 95% of rap fans, think Kendrick, Nas, and Frank Ocean got the best albums of the year. They knoooooow......nigga.

This rap shit is a popularity contest, I see. Man look, I'm dropping a Best Albums That Nobody Gave A Fuck About list around January. Show some love to the niggas who didn't get enough of it.

So no, there will be no fuckin Top Dawg dickridin over here. There will be no Killer Mike, no El-P, no Curren$y, no Rick Ross. This list is for niggas who wanna hear some new shit.


If I'm gonna dedicate this blog to Pimp C it's only right I pay homage to who I feel are the niggas making the best shit in the "underground". Lemme get these finals out the way and I'll holla.

FUCK ANDRE

I DONT CARE IF HE APOLOGIZED, FUCK ANDRE

Usually I don't do this but uhhhh

Lemme break you off with this guest blog I did a few months ago. It never got posted because I'm too trill so fuck it.


"Bastard" review Fuck with mee.

Tyler, The Creator – Bastard review

“Shocker, right? Cause Tyler, the Creator definitely needs to be talked about more. *insert long introduction about the rise of Odd Future and how offended I am* 

One thing you gotta understand about Tyler and his crew is that they perfectly represent the Swag-Generation (for those who don’t know, Swag-Generation is my term for kids who came of age in the 2000’s and grew up on hip hop. The bold underline font is required. Always.) and our sense of humor. We grew up on the internet so instant gratification and tasteless jokes are basically our forte, feel me? So, what’s so great about Bastard in the first place? Lemme start off off top by saying if you’re a fairy nipple* who takes music seriously you’re going to hate this (*I’m not allowed to say the magic n-word in this word so I’m going to replace it with random two syllable n-words). Like this is the type of shit the weird kid who sits in the back of class drawing dead people listens to, okay? Even though, it’s obvious Tyler isn’t really bout that life. But that’s neither here nor there. Where we at? In hood. Where we at? On the corner.

Bastard

Okay so here’s the concept, Tyler is soooo different and angsty that he needs to see the school counselor. From what I gather Tyler grew up without a dad so it gives him carte blanche to be a dick. Suddenly, a racist reader just sighed and said “Oh, where have I heard that story before”. Shut up, racist, we discussing real nugget shit over here, brah. But yeah, as I was saying, the summary of the story is Tyler’s a butthurt teenager that raps, Kay? Speaking of butthurt, Tyler starts off by letting us know that he’s butthurt that the blogs ignored him. L. What about the music? Well, Tyler is a sick ass producer, the thing about the Swag-Generation is that we were all influenced in some shape form or fashion by the Neptunes. They basically dominated the 2000 airwaves, no contest. Fight me. Tyler decides to do an annoying 5+ minute song with no drums, just a piano and strings. If Tyler didn’t have the voice of a sexually offensive Morgan Freeman in 1955 Tyler would sound like a bitch-ass Nigel Thornberry. Don’t get me wrong, this song’s dope for the first 2 minutes…then it keeps going…and going till all of a sudden you’re watching porn again not because you’re actually horny. Just because you’re bored to death and the only thing that will save you is breasts….huge breasts. But yeah, I like the fact he flat out says “I cut my wrists and play piano cause I’m so depressed”, it shows that he’s self-aware. If anything, it sets the mood and gives a good introduction to what Tyler/Odd Future stands for. Random pop culture references and shock imagery. I give him props for shouting out Aaron Hall though. That’s amazing. Moving on...

2.Seven

So umm, Tyler decides to rap for 3 minutes again without a hook. This is a horrible trend in hip hop. None of you new Nigerians rapping are good enough to rap a full length song without a hook. Tyler’s an interesting rapper, but I don’t CARE about your rapping my nickel. We need a hook from Amerie (shit, NOONE ever says…EVER) or something cause I don’t give a fuck homie. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad song at all, but it’s not good either. Let’s just say I’m this close to going back to xvideos. I’m curious if gay people listen to hip hop. Cause uhhh……

3.Odd Toddlers featuring Casey Veggies

This song was actually on the Odd Future Tape that came out back in 2008-2009……so guess what? Skip this shit. Nevermind the fact it’s ANOTHER song where he raps with no hook. Nevermind the fact this beat is literally “One Beer” by MF Doom. Nevermind that this is boring. You know what? It’s time for Sara Jay…..

4.French! featuring Hodgy Beats

Now THIS is what I’m talking about my noggin. This beat bangs hard as hell. Tyler comes in the most memorable verse opener I’ve heard in years. “Got all the black bitches mad cause my main bitch vanilla”. I never understood why black women get mad when we got a white chick it’s like yo. It’s like ice cream, feel me? I’m tryna lick as many as I can before I die THESE NOVELS WONT HOLD ME BACK. Nothing personal. This hook is dope as fuck as well. I think Hodgy is underrated as a member of Odd Future, I feel like’s the most straight forward rapper in the group. But I mean, in the Swag-Generation you gotta have a gimmick. Dope song regardless though. This sounds like Chuck Inglish in hell. Fuck with me.

5. Blow

Tyler tells us a story about how he doesn’t want to take a girl on a date, he just wants to rape her and do coke. I can relate, totally. Cause I’m a real nicotine. But this beat though? Shit sounds west coast as fuck. Like Dam-Funk or Dj Quik if they were using Fruity Loops: Fisher Price editon. The thing about this album is….you can’t play this round bitches man. You just can’t, unless it’s a weird chick who visits 4chan. But those type of girls don’t count, cause I mean….they obviously are twisted and like being tied up during sex. I can’t deal with that again. So far Tyler has two great songs in a row, keep it up my navy.

6.Pigs Fly featuring Domo Genesis

This is a chill song, probably a throwaway from Domo Genesis’ Rolling Papers album. Shit was boring as hell, I just list Paradeened to it and I can’t tell you anything about it. 

7. Parade

This beat is really out of this world. Tyler mastered synths I gotta give him that. One thing I noticed about this album compared to Goblin is Tyler obviously has nothing to talk about. On Goblin you find Tyler trying to deal with this newfound fame and you seem him experiment with actual song structure. On Bastard it’s just “Hey, I’m gonna rap for 40 seconds and give you hook a few times then the songs gonna be over okay? If you’re lucky I’ll let you here a conversation between me and myself with the pitch slowed down” Yaaaaawn.

8.Slow It Down

Another song from the Odd Future Tape…..SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP BIIIIITCH

9. Assmilk ft. Earl Sweatshirt

This song is monumental in the Odd Future catalog. Tyler and Earl trade raps back and forth over a great beat. This personifies Odd Future perfectly. Earl saves this song from being boring obviously. On the outside looking in, this song is basically a circle jerk of two high school boys bragging about raping imaginary bitches. Still a dope song regardless. 

10.VCR/Wheels

This is hands down the best song on the album, if you don’t like Tyler just play this shit. It’s sad how the first half is so short. This beat is the waviest shit I’ve heard ina minute. It shows a glimpse of Tyler’s genius. Even though he’s rapping about rape again he’s undeniable from a artistic standpoint.

(Sidenote: It’s obvious this nelly got rejected a lot in school, got damn. Show me on the doll where they hurt you brah. If you listen closely you can hear the teardrops hit the microphone in synch with the hihats.)

11.Session featuring Hodgy Beats and BRandun Deshay/Mike G

Okay, hilarious story, there are two versions of Bastard. The original has this song with Brandun Deshay on the third verse, the second version has this song but Brandun Deshay is replaced with Mike G. For those who don’t know, Mike G is literally the worst rapper in Odd Future, probably the worst rapper to exist in the 2000s. I’m serious. Apparently Brandun Deshay and Tyler have beef because Tyler’s a butthurt Nissan like usual. Brandun seems like a douchebag though, I follow homie on twitter (I’m @TrillTabernacle by the way, fuck with ya boy *insert more hip hop clichés*) It’s unfortunate because Bradun is a great artist. Like REALLY great. He actually killed Hodgy and Tyler on this song. I want homie to win yo. Anyways, this song is decent. Another hookless rap circle jerk, basically.

12. Sarah

This shit sound like fucking 80’s synth pop oh my god someone shoot me in the dick it would feel so great right now. That’s sad because I LOVE 80’s synth pop. Nite and Day by Al B. Sure is destined to be on repeat at my funeral. That, and “Mack is Back” by Kool Keith. Kool Keith is probably the worst artist to play in a social event. But fuck you, Mom and Dad, I’m edgy.

13. Jack and the Beanstalk

Tyler himself stated he hates this song.

I do too. 

14.Tina Featuring Jasper and Taco

This song is brilliant. Like, I’m serious. Odd Future basically shits on the hip hop game with this. The nonsensical hook, the semi-trap beat, the ridiculous verses. This is amazing, even though Bitch Suck Dick on Goblin is better. Actually, Goblin does everything Tyler did on this album except 4 times better. 

But dude, they pause the beat so this dude can eat fucking chips. What in the fucking world.

15. Inglorious

So Tyler closes this album 5 times more butthurt than he started it. YOU NEED A FUCKING MY HUG MY NIXON

Damn!

If I was Tyler’s dad I would be laughing my ass like damn son, u still mad? Get some bitches….I’d be a horrible father. ;_; 

Can someone do an interview with this dude’s dad? That’d be the greatest thing ever. Pause MTV VH1 and BET simultaneously so we can watch this like it’s a kanye west video premiere. It is THAT important.

All jokes aside, this song is kinda sad when given the context. This dude talking about killing himself and shit cause daddy wasn’t there n shit. Like…that’s sad.

Nah fuck that, he jokes about sexually abused chicks I can laugh at this emo shit.

Best songs: French, VCR/Wheels, Blow, Parade, Assmilk

This album is interesting form a cultural standpoint. But is the music generally good? Hell no, if you want to see Tyler at his best buy Goblin. Don’t listen to what the bloggin ass muthafuckas say. This album is not that good.

*grows Max B esque perm and rides off on a surfboard*

Chiillll

I've been tryna to do this college shit and whatnot so a young nigga is neglecting the fuck outta the bloglife. I've sent some guest posts to other blogs and sites that didn't get used (they some fuck niggas) so I'll throw em out there for yall.

Quick update: I recently learned about the greatness Kale (look it up, shit prevents cancer and has a whole buncha nutrients n shit that I have no idea about)

That webcam stripper thing I was talking about a few posts ago? Failure.

I've been blowing chicks off for my studies so I'm officially a weirdo.

I rap better than you

Employers won't hire a nigga cause a student can't be full-time. (They gon get this work, fuck em)

I'm black and I didn't vote for Obama, suck it brah brah.

White/Wheat flour raises your blood sugar so I'm tryna fuck with alternative flours (rice, almond coconut).


*insert random video*

EDIT:
And forreal forreal you bloggin ass niggas are dying of thirst. Can't wait to dickride the latest nigga. Got damn.


Ain't nobody save hip hop. We good. 

How do I survive music from the Swag-Generation?

I know I know....you're upset. Ever since Brown Sugar was filmed you've been upset that there arn't enough yoga rappers to satisfy your pseudo black militancy. What do you do? Do you stay in your hyperbolic time-chamber full of Public Enemy vinyls? Do you sip chai tea out of your mug while wearing your limited edition Ghostface Killah robe while waiting for the next Talib Kweli album?


Im getting ahead of myself...NOONE is waiting for the next Talib Kweli album. :(

What do you do when you're stuck in the 90's/80's yet you're growing bored of listening to the same ol' music solely  so you can feel like an individual for once in your life?


You vibrate higher, you fucking fuck

Like I stated in my first post, I'm here to coach you into the Swag-Generation as easily as possible.

So where do we start? Who are some new rappers you should look out for?



Let me introduce you to Neako

From: New Jersey

Age: 26

Don't let the cliche jesus piece, bright clothes, and cocky facial expression fool you. Neako is a self-produced rapper, and he's skilled at both.

He's collab'd with some of your favorite mixtape rappers (and Wiz Khalifa, but please don't mention it to him) yet he remains low-key because of his refusal to conform.

My reference to Wiz Khalifa should warn you, Neako is def a weed-rapper. What makes him special enough for a blog post? His distinctive-voice, atmospheric (and generally sample-free) beats, and intricate storytelling lyrics will have you hooked.

As of 2006-2012 he's dropped 12 mixtapes, that's 2 mixtapes a year. This nigga is prolific. Neako exemplifies what I love about the Swag-Generation so much. You can literally witness an artist's growth as they upload mixtape after mixtape every year. Nothing is obscure on the internet. If it's good, we will hear it. Your favorite obscure hip hop album from the 90's isn't obscure anymore. Everyone's downloading it as we speak.....and we're going to delete that boring shit in 2 days to make room for more Codi Bryant. I gives no fuck.

Compare this (2006)

To this (2009)

And this (2011)

Neako can take a simple idea and stretch it for 6 bars if he wanted to

"It's god given, like god hit em
And told him, that he was comin to get him
And he brought something with him...
...
And I received that"

Neako suffers (I use the term suffer losely) from the same addiction Kanye does. And that's being a producer. Neako will rap over someone elses beat and soup it up to the point it's not even the same vibe.

He also has an affinity for throwing live instruments over trap beats, which is always welcome.


For example:

As you weave through his catalog, you'll be rewarded by Neako as you catch the constant references to older work and ideas. If you follow Neako on twitter you'll be lost by the secret code that him and his followers speak.  Neako's not the type of artist you can just jump into and claim he's your favorite. His followers will embarrass you, I've seen it.....I've seen it all.

Saying the word "embarrass" referring to fucking TWITTER is uncomfortably corny =/.

With that being said...

Follow the young black jesus so you can get your daily fix of angsty black teenage snark while I'm neglecting my blog. @TrillTabernacle

As I was saying


If you can handle some misogyny and  some drug references (which I know you can, cause you listen to fucking REASONABLE DOUBT) then you'll be able to handle Neako. Get on the bandwagon, he's making moves

Recommended listening: Rubix Cube: The Yellow Edition (His Magnum Opus in my opinion)

The Number 23 (If you want to understand the direction of his newer music, bump this)



Next up...



Ro Ransom

From: Harlem, New York

Age: 19

The youngest, and most overlooked artist in this post is probably the most lyrically talented. Ro (originally named Nero, I don't know what the fuck happened) gained my attention from his show-stealing verse on Casey Veggies "30,000"

I mean....it can't be that hard to steal a song from Casey Veggies (sorry Casey, Sleeping In Class is my shit but.......) but his verse was def one of the most interesting pieces of young nigga shit talking I've heard in a minute.

"She asked me why I sound so passionate rapping.....I told her if I say it, it actually happened"

Ro is my favorite shit-talker when it comes to rapping. I have reason to believe Harlem niggas are the most disrespectful niggas out there. Shout out to A$ap Rocky for throwing a bottle full of piss at a club-bouncer. Shout out to the Cam'Ron for the intro to Public Enemy #1 and the song "You Gotta Hate It".  Free Max B.

Check out this shit

Ro is by far one of the most honest rappers out here (Homie brags about drinking iced tea and streaming anime for free. I can't make this up) he gets into his feelings every now-and-then, but it's never overwhelming. He's a no-filter rapper that'll talk his shit and cry afterwards. ....but not in a bitch way. More like a Cuba-Gooding-Swinging-At-The-Air-In-Boyz-In-The-Hood way. One thing you'll notice about most of these rappers I show respect to is, you can tell they know their history. Neako goes from rapping over Lex-Luger beats to rapping over J-Dilla on the same mixtape.

Ro is no different. He goes from paying homage to DJ Screw, rapping over M.I.A., singing over a underratted Missy Eliott and Timbo classic (Take Away) in the same mixtape. You can tell Ransom started off as a spitter but slowed it down to fit the mold of the Swag-Generation, and I respect that. We don't need another Busta Rhymes* (speaking of Busta Rhymes....). If you want less misogyny and drugs and more honesty and clever lyrics. Check this nigga out.


Recommended listening: Ransomnia 




Next up, Danny Swain

From: South Carolina
Age: 29 (DAMN THIS NIGGA OLD, WHUT IT DO)

Is it......too late for me to write about Danny! ? As a nigga who's been bumping his shit for years I'm weirded out about how fast he blew up. I havn't heard his anticipated Payback! album yet since I'm a broke nigga and I don't like pirating artists I respect (that's why I got a computer full of Rick Ross and 2chainz). But why should you listen to him? He's by far the most hilarious rapper out there as of now. Well atleast when he's not  moping about how deez niggaz wan hol him bak.He's the complete opposite of the Swap-Generation yet he fits in perfectly. You see, he's not obsessed with drugs and bitches, more like ridiculous pop culture references and making fun of your favorite rapper. He's basically Childish Gambino except he's not a bag of flaming hot cheetos. He's also a self-producing rapper who you should def know about if you're a Danny Brown fan.

And no, listening to XXX does not make you a fucking Danny Brown fan you fucking fuck.

But I digress, Danny has the most ridiculous story-line as a rapper. After he got kicked out of college for being paid to change people's grades, he starts his music career and ends up beefing with fellow South Carolina resident Charlemagne the God Hip Hop's Favorite Ninja Turtle (Sorry Young Jeezy :( )

After hella self-released albums and beattapes, a fucked deal with Def Jux, and a shelved album (that is apparently the greatest thing ever made that no will ever hear because Danny re-made it from the ground up) Danny ends up getting cosigned by Jay-z and ?uestlove. Now he's on Jimmy Fallon. I'm recalling this shit from memory so the sequence of events are prolly fucked.

I say that to say, Danny is killing it right now on the low-key. He has all this internet press but I still feel he's fairly underground. That's a good thing because that means we can get THIS SHIT . (*A collection of prank calls....most of them to Busta Rhymes)

Danny isn't a public figure as of yet so he's basically immune to the politics of the game. This nigga has been terrorizing Tyrese and Busta Rhymes for months.

Danny is the biggest hip hop troll out there. The thing about it is he has the skills to back it up

Recommonded listening: Support his latest release "Payback"

F.O.O.D. (2005)


Danny released all of his music for free on his tumblr about a year ago, I'm not gonna link tho you gotta take the journey.






***BONUS BUSTA RHYMES SLANDER*** 

http://bustarhymesgavemeherpes.blogspot.com/


*DJ CLUE VOICE* NEW HEAT 

https://twitter.com/BustaRhymesHerp

I don't care about black people

Sensational title aside, it's true. I don't care about black people. I don't mean this in a negative way, nor a positive way. I sincerely don't care about black people.

I can't pinpoint when I came to this revelation, I think back to 2008 when Obama was running for president. When I heard about it my response was simply "Oh...that's cool" then I went back to myspace macking and listening to Nas' latest album. Seeing as I lived in the south, I wasn't surprised everyone was in a frenzy. I mean, chances are if there's a black family that lived in the south for generations they were the slaves that never escaped ( :(  ); I understood they were excited. Then I noticed everytime I turned on the t.v. or listened to a song everyone was wet about Obama. I didn't realize how much I didn't care at the time because, well, I didn't care enough to think about it.

Throughout high school I've seen a lot of my niggas get in altercations with white students over racial shit. I'd sit in the back dying laughing while egging them on (bitch it was high school, don't judge me) but in the back of my mind I knew I was laughing AT them. The fact they were so insecure about their black history that they had to practically beg others to respect them saddened me. Don't get me wrong, I take pride in my blackness; I don't take pride in OTHER's blackness though. Which brings me to election day.

For those who don't remember, there was a huge inauguration ceremony welcoming Obama into the white house. As the ceremony begun, Aretha Fucking Franklin "My Country, Tis of Thee" to honor Barack. This was by far the blackest thing to happen in the White House since The Coolest President Ever played the saxophone. As I looked at the tv screen showing Aretha singing her heart attempting to melodically fellate   the president, I turned to the side to look at my mom (who begged me to watch the ceremony) with tears in her eyes.

I felt nothing. Literally nothing.

If my mom's tears can't move me to give a fuck either I'm a horrible person or I don't care about black people.

What I mean by that is, Obama's successful presidential campaign has nothing to do with me, he doesn't represent me as a black male. The same way Chief Keef's music doesn't represent me as a black teen. I don't base my achievements and failures on what other black people are doing. I don't live vicariously through their melanin.

When I see a bad representation of black people in public I don't feel ashamed, they're not me. If I see a black man achieve I'm not going to cry tears of joy because a black person won. I'll congratulate them as a man and keep it moving.

Which brings me to present day, 4 years after Obama got elected it is time for yet another election. I still havn't registered. I never liked the idea of voting. The bullet is stronger than the ballot, if people really want to make a difference......nevermind. My parents were unsurprisingly upset that me and brother choose not to vote for the lesser of two evils. We got the typical "blacks have died for you to...." speech.

Let's be real, for some blacks, this isn't about politics, it's about Black vs. White. Be honest with yourselves, we all talk about Obama vs. Romney meanwhile the minor parties probably have "better" candidates and you probably couldn't even name one.

There's a time for everything. There's a time for "Us vs. Them" and then there's a time to be an individual. When the revolution starts holla at me, until then, shut up and vote for another wack politician and pray to white jesus. Whatever.

Trill Baking Tips for the healthy mofuckas

Add a tablespoon (or 2) of Soy Flour to all of your breads or treats if you want to keep it moist and fresh. Make sure you properly sift it because soy flour is extremely clumpy. Your shit will be staying soft like me watching a gay porno. You're welcome.

Swag-Generation Pioneers Honors: #1 Cam'ron

Now for those that missed my introduction post , my blog is supposed to be used as an instructional manual on how to survive the Swag-Generation; for old niggas and the lost young niggas. Now in order for us to understand what the Swag-Generation is and where it's going.....you gotta understand where the fuck it came from. There are certain people in pop culture that indirectly contributed to the birth of Swag-Generation. Ghostface Killa..Kool Keith...Grand Puba....Ricky Martin. The list could go on. But let's start with Cam'ron, the head honcho of the (now defunct?) Dipset crew.

This nigga EMERGES from underground in the most outlandish outfit ever (though in 2004 it would be considered...somewhat normal) and hops in a pink car that conveniently has models waiting to open the door for him. THIS is Swag-Generation. The mixture of nonchalance and belligerent smartassery is what makes the Swag-Generaion prosper. Believe it or not, Dipset is the Wu-Tang of the 2000's....the Run-DMC of the 2000's. They weren't just a rap group, they were a movement. Everything Cam'ron said or did was so ridiculous you're not sure if he was fucking with you, and his deadpan delivery doesn't help either.

Anyone curious about the Swag-Generation is like needs to take a look at #BlackTwitter. A playground for unadulterated snark and hyperbole. Cam'ron's left-field one liners back in 2002-2006 would thrive in the Twitter world. Not only that, the infamous Bill O Reily clip sparked the biggest internet meme in hip hop history.

Umad?

(Skip to 8:06 )

This is a (somewhat) serious show about politics, the thing is....Cam'ron doesn't care. He'll come on your and insult you then use your show to promote his album. The same way someone will hack you twitter and tweet non-sense then proceed to promote their latest mixtape afterwards. The Swag-Generation really doesn't care about being politically correct, if it's funny you're basically fucked. People like Tyler, The Creator and Lil B wouldn't exist without the brilliance of Cam'ron. Cam'ron destroyed the fabric of arguments. No one is safe from "U mad?", no matter what your background is.

He was a martyr for Douchebags, if you will. Dare I say he was hip-hop's first troll? Do you remember his random youtube videos during the 50 Cent feud where he would just stare at the camera for 30 seconds for no reason? I still don't understand what that was supposed to do.

A$ap Rocky owes his career to Cam'Ron (And Spaceghostpurrp, but that's a different story), I remember reading a story about how Rocky threw a bottle full of piss at a club bouncer because he wouldn't let him in. That sounds like something Jim Jones would do. Not the Love & Hip Hop Jim Jones, I'm talking about the 2003 Jim Jones that looked homeless no matter what he was wearing. To this day you can't convince me he knows how to shower properly.

The Dipset crew had no song structure whatsoever, they rapped over Heatmakerz beats about the most random topics until the hook came. The thing is, their raps were so overboard combined with the obnoxious beats you had no choice but to love it.

That's why I have to salute Cam'Ron as the one of the leading foundations of the Swag-Generation, your arrogance changed my life. Thank you.

Gang Violence?.....We need more of it.

Hold up hold up don't try to play me like that, I know this sounds absurd but I'm dead serious. People have been talking about Chief Keef and Lil Reese lately and they keep saying they want to stop the violence in the black community......but why?

Me personally? I admire the niggas in gangs, though I don't agree with their code of ethics and whatnot. But you have to respect the passion niggas in gangs have for their crew. You rarely see such teamwork and unity in American teenagers. Their minds are in the right place, they're just executing it horribly. We get it, they're young, black, and angry. By the time they reach their teens it's too late to change that. So what do we do? Redirect their anger for rival gangs to the corrupt political leaders, my nigga.

Feel me? No you fucking don't.

I mean, if you're already crazy enough to kill you might as well make it worth it. Why kill a nigga who's just as broke and worthless as you? Let's step it up to the next level. Shit, I'd join a gang if given the choice.

But not necessarily Bloods/Crips.....more like Black Panthers.

Feel me?

I mean shit, these niggas are already a lost cause we might as well turn them to soldiers instead of gangsters.


But Brando, what are YOU doing for the cause?

Ha...I'm glad you asked, imaginary commenter *stares at empty comment box*, I'm going to move to Southside Chicago and I'm going to impregnate a hoodrat on purpose.


You heard me.


Afterwards I will fake my death. I got killed by a politician yo. I won't specify which one cause then my son know who to hate. That'll ruin the plan.

You see, after my death I will leave behind a bunch of books full of all the info he needs to know about America. Sooner or later he will grow up as a hateful militant instead of a confused thug and he will start his own Black Panther crew. Spreading out to Michigan, Kentucky, and New Jersey.

When the revolution starts all you prolly do is snitch though.

See what I did? I redirected his anger, my nigga. But y'all tryna extinguish the fires burning inside these niggas. You're trying to ruin their passion. You should be ashamed.

Now let's talk about drug dealing and how horrible it is. Why though? These kids are starting their own business selling drugs, you can't hate them for taking advantage of people who already gave up on life. Drug dealers are no different than food companies that sell products with High Fructose Corn Syrup. If people are dumb enough to consume it and pay money for it who are you to play God? (my bad if you're atheist, eat a dick for caring though.)

Instead of punishing high schoolers for selling drugs, take them on a field trip to an Upper class area. Give them coke and ecstasy to sell to the teenagers. All the money they make from that, give it to the community to build better schools and whatever the fuck  you niggas need. I call it Robin Hood Trapping

But y'all don't hear me though, y'all too busy shaking your head at Lil Mouse's classic video and doing absolutely nothing about it. Don't fuck around with them fuck arounds.


People see Chief Keef laughing at Lil Jojo's death and say "I'm so appalled! He's laughing at death!"

I see a future Black Panther that could change the world. Think about it, if Chief Keef started rapping about the Revolution and lighting Incense after murdering people and fucking bitches that would be AMAZING.


Can we get Dead Prez and Jay Electronica to ghost write for Chief Keef too?

You see murderers and drug dealers, I see talent. I see potential. Fuck the Election.

The spiritual undertones of Frank Ocean

I dropped a Gut Reaction review of Channel Orange about a month ago, since then I had a lot of shit going on. I started doing yoga and integrated more vegan recipes into my meals (See what I did there?). My aunt introduced to the different chakras in our body. Sooner or later it clicked to me what Channel Orange was about.

You see, the Sacral chakra (also known as the Orange chakra) is associated with our emotional and sexual needs. It's based on the element of water. When we suffer a loss or feel emotionally isolated our sacral chakra is imbalanced. Thus, leading us to finding addictions to fill this void. So what the fuck does this have to do with Channel Orange?

......Channel Orange



 Chaneling Orange Chakra.

Frank Ocean comes off as a peaceful person who's not particularly religious, but more-so in touch with chakra and spirits. He writes with a tone of innocence and introspect in the age of Trey Songz and Chris Brown. Dont get me wrong, I like bitches and drinks.  The album's main themes are Pleasure vs. Purpose, Emotional Isolation, and Enlightenment.

Pink Matter and Monks perfectly summarize these concepts. In Pink Matter Frank questions the purpose of the woman's body, seeing as the woman's body is a common symbol for life Frank is questioning the purpose of life. Are we here to seek pleasure through women (or guys if you swing that way, swag) or are we here to create life? He indirectly addresses these questions throughout the album.

In Monks, he addresses our generation ability to treat music as a religious experience.

"mosh pits & bare chest 
stage diving sky diver 
spray the crowd with cold water 
now its mosh pits & wet tits 
i think i need a cold shower 
cool waters "

Frank uses his live shows to Channel his fan's orange chakra. Like I said before, the element of our orange chakra is water. He sprays the crowd with cold water, a double-entendre. People use music to escape, to fulfill them temporarily. 

Meanwhile in the second verse Frank basically proves my point:

"monks in the mosh pit 

stage diving dalai lama 
feet covered in cut flowers 
they mosh for enlightenment 
clean chakra good karma 
one with the water"

Clean chakra...one with the water. Frank refers to the musician as a Dalai Lama, an enlighten-er to the monks. The monks in the mosh pit are a reference to the music fans who go to the live shows. He feels he's spreading good karma by sharing his energy with his fans.

Meanwhile in songs like Super Rich Kids and Crack Rock Frank speaks on people dealing with emotional isolation, longing for love but instead using money, drugs, and sex as a coping mechanism for their void. It seems as if Frank is using extremes to hold a mirror to our faces as a society. Though we're not crack addicts or Super Rich Kids, most of use the pursuit of sex, money, and drugs to cope with our lack of love. No?

If you pay attention to Frank's lyrics you see a infatuation with water. From songs like "Swim Good", to the bonus track on Channel Orange "Golden Girl". Where Frank falls for a girl on a island. Even songs like "Sweet Life"

"Why see the world? When you got the beach?"

That could be interpreted two ways, either at face value as Frank being sarcastic. Or maybe Frank is saying why be mentally involved with the world when you could be one with the water. Channeling your Orange Chakra....

I feel like this is a perfect coming-of-age album for me. As I'm leaving religion behind and getting in touch with my spirituality this album connects with me as more than just a cd full of singles. 

Oh my god I felt so pretentious typing this. 

There are billions of women on earth.

AND THEY ALL HAVE VAGINAS

If I learned ANYTHING from Pimp C.....

Pimpin Aint Dead It Just Moved to the Web


Lemme splash this vaginal juice flavored ciroc on behalf of Chad Butler, may he rest in pimpin.


But look one thing that always bothered me my nigga? Prostitution and strippin in the 2000's. It seems so barbaric....so uncivilized. I don't have a problem with the idea of prostitution and strippin but to be doing it in this generation? Nah listen, get off the corner and get on your new HP Probook. 

You over here getting assaulted, drugged, and raped when you could be sipping latte's simply taking your clothes off your niggas in the comfort of your own home. 

You can't afford one? What are you doing with your prostitution money yo? Invest in yourself don't depress yourself.

See look, pimping should be dead right nah. But these pimps ain't tryna transition from pimping to Macbook Macking. They don't have the tech savvy for it. Which is sad. So you know what the Swag-Generation  gotta do? 

We gotta steal these pimps hoes (I use the term loosely, fuck you) my nigga. I'm bout to tweet this local prostitute right now, the fuck you mean? I'm sending friend requests to all the bad chicks that graduated with me that didn't gain weight my nigga (there's not a lot). You see, this Webcam Whoremongering is legal and safe my nigga. It's in these girl's best interest to come and join the team. You're not fucking or touchin any of your clients you're just minding your business changing clothes and the webcam just HAPPENS to be turned on....

And a white dude named Greg just so happens to be masturbating staring at you with his cold....sad eyes. But I digress.

You don't have to worry about getting slut-shamed by insecure niggas who don't like their girls that are Jimi Hendrixed (read: Experienced). 

See man, we gotta do this for Pimp C. 

I don't understand how a girl can go out in the street, rain, sleet, snow, and fuck and suck whoever then come around and give another nigga her money...

You see, Brando, that's because your game is tight.

Oh I know my game is tight! I'm talking about another nigga!!

But forreal, these girl  need to be guided away from these crazy violent ass niggas and fuck with the Swag-Generation. You 80's cats were too strung out on crack to treat your ladies right we gotta pick up the pieces ya dig?

I'm handin out free game to you bloggin ass niggas. Think about it, if you show a girl the dangers of prostitution and stripping she'll have no choice but to see "Yo my nigga you right, I need to invest in my FUTURE (everest collee commercial)".

I was just choppin it up with this stripper chick she telling me her sister got a roll of quarters thrown at her in the strip club. See....that won't happen to you at the Samsung Strip Club. 

I'm dead serious too, I'm really tryna hit up these chicks bout this business. I got a vision....young chicks love a nigga with vision and no money cause they don't have bills to pay so they don't give a fuck.


We doin this for Pimp C, y'all. We doin this for Suga Free. We doin this for Iceberg Slim.

But most importantly?

We doin this for the love of the game. Lord bless the game and those who manifest it diligently.


The doors of my webcam model domain are now open.

I can't listen to Kanye West anymore

It's not even that his music is bad. I just have a bad feeling when listening to his music. There's just an aura of sadness in it. Or maybe I'm crazy.

Think back to when Graduation came out, Kanye was at his commercial and critical peak. Noone could touch him, not even 50 cent. Not even his flamboyant ass album cover.

I mean seriously, this nigga had a fucking cartoon teddy bear flying in a rainbow twirl shooting out of a fucking fish's mouth. And it was awesome......homosexually awesome.

But anyways, after the loss of his fiance and mother, Kanye's music really took a dive. I WANTED to like his new music. When Love Lockdown premiered at the VMA's I WANTED to like it. But sooner or later it felt empty. To this day I still havn't heard 808's and heartbreaks in entirety. (Paraoid is my shit though)

I hear people discussing My Beautiful Long Ass Album Title and think to myself "Hey, I should listen to this album again!" The same thing always happens..

I stare at the cd case...

Open it up...

Stare at the poster/liner notes

Then put the cd case down and move on to something else.

Don't get me wrong, the album was decent, So Appalled and Monster were great but...


The album has a really depressing tone to it. I can't pinpoint it. Something's wrong with this nigga forreal. I can't listen to his new shit. He's like the childhood friend that went through a tragedy and tries to overcompensate by telling you how many girls he's fucking and how drunk he got the other night.

You don't have to front my nigga, go ahead and grieve just don't repress that shit.I feel that energy.


The shit has gotten so bad I downloaded a version of Mercy without the garbage Kanye verse....


"Now EVERYBODEH....is MOVING....they BODIES"

Nigga what the fuck? I gotta hold in my laughter while grinding on a white chick in the club when that part comes on....


Do you know how self conscious chicks my age are? Why are you doing this to me? Fairy.



But forreal, I listen to Odd Future and Esham and I don't feel uncomfortable, but new Kanye is a whole different person my nigga. It's eerie.

WHY DO YOU BLOGGIN ASS NIGGAS HATE NAS?

Take a seat, internet, let's have a talk. Why don't you want Nas to be great yo? What did he do?

According to some of yall niggas Nas hasnt made a good album since It Was Written.

Niggas shitted on his Untitled album (which is my favorite Nas album of all time), matter fact, niggas shitted on literally EVERY Nas album when it came out. Good god yo. What is this?

Then this nigga finally comes out with a universally acclaimed album and y'all decide to form a ghostwriting conspiracy, word?

You bloggin ass niggas make me sick yo. I blame KRS-One.

Is it the Lil Wayne Effect? Think about it, noone gave two fucks about Lil Wayne between Tha Block Iz Hot to The Carter 1. Swear.

I mean he was popular but his name never came up when talking about rappers. Then The Carter2 came out and everyone was on his dick. Lil Wayne had the audacity to start this trend of calling him the best rapper alive, then guess what?

Bloggin ass niggas went innnnnn. People search and scavenge for ways to hate Lil Wayne, it's amazing.

Is this why y'all can't leave Nas alone and let him win? Cause people call him the greatest?

Jay-Z been dropping hot garbage for years. I'll be fair, not even garbage, just boring brah.



Quote ONE line from the Vol.3 album.




Yeah, me neither.



Meanwhile I've been tryna situate myself into college while fafsa's acting like hoes.


And I'm kickin it with a ex-crack dealing stripper.........where is my life going.

2chainz - Based on a Tru Story first impression

Aight I've been indifferent to this nigga 2chainz ever since he gained fame in the south around early 2011. I'm tryna be open minded and listen to niggas I don't give a fuck about instead of blasting Jodeci and Curren$y.
Lotta hip hop bloggin ass niggas hate 2chainz because cool people like 2chainz, but his verse on mercy was entertaining to say the least.

Even though that nigga made the mistake of making it obvious that he ran outta creative juice during the end of the verse.

"Rain.....pouring/ All my cars are foreign/ All my broads is foreign/...........ummmmm MONEY TALL LIKE JORDAN"

Yeah, nigga, I caught that shit. Nice try.

Nevertheless, you have to give 2chainz some kind of credit. He took Ace Hood's "Hustle Hard" flow and did an olympic gold medal earning dash with it. Not only did he do that, he made everyone else in the rap game rap like him. It's amazing.

Almost all of my favorite old rappers used that flow atleast once in the past year, and it hurts my heart. I'm looking at you, Pusha T.

No, YOUR Duncan Hines is irrelevant. I'm still copping that album when it comes out though Mr.T.


(Ha, I called him, Mr.T... Someone compensate me for this free swag juice that i give you niggas)


Anyways I'm getting ahead of myself, I have low expectations for this album. I atleast want something I can workout and seduce chicks to.


Man, y'all niggas can diss drake all you want but these Swag-generation chicks love him. I listen to him while I'm seducing a chick.








I'll listen to a million deaf babies cry if that's what a girl's into, I don't give a fuck. Either that or I get laughed at for playing Voodoo by D'angelo.......


Never again.......never again




 Hold up, can I talk about the cover real quick?

This nigga really doesn't give a fuck about us, huh? Like....NO fucks whatsoever. Fuck being creative right? Word.

Rappers stay having horrible covers. I'm not even gonna comment on Wiz Khalifa.


But yo forreal, if I was a rapper I'd have the same cover Wiz Khalifa has. Except I'm chillin with a polar bear. And Im rockin a white turtleneck sweater matching with the polar bear's fur. But that's just me.






Wooooord.






1. Yuck ft. Lil Wayne


So this is how you wanna start your album off? Featuring lil wayne brah? Word. Cool


The first rap you hear is and I quote:


"I'm known to go donkey on a camel toe/And then turn that camel toe into a CASSEROOOOOLE"


OH my god 2chainz where have you been all of my life? No Homo vs. Capcom 2


THIS is how he starts his debut album dog. He has been signed to a label for like....12 years and noone gave a fuck about him till a year ago. AND THIS IS HOW HE RAPS.


2chainz I wanna apologize for ignoring you cause you really don't give a shit about NOTHING.


"Bitches on my dick like Brad Pitt" Lil wayne you tryna bite Lil B I got dirt on you doggie.


Now lemme tell you. 2chainz basically raps about how he's gonna fuck your girlfriend with his friends and he'll make sure to remind you he used to sell drugs to the black community......as if that's cool. But whatever.
Cool song, next track

2. Crack

This song is called Crack. No clever pun about drugs, no subtle allusion. Just Crack. Martin wept yo.

This beat is nice? I don't know, I wouldn't spend money on a album full of mixtape sounding beats. If I wanted that I'd go to livemixtapes. I'll give 2chainz respect for not raping the Ace Hood flow like usual. *shrugs*

 "I DONT GIVE A FINUCK.....I DONT GIVE A FINUCK....TELL EM SUCK MY DINICK"

I predict a ocean of ratchet mothafuckas quoting this on their facebook status when they're not posting pics of themselves with one dollar bills aiming guns at the camer......

I live in the south, I see this daily.

3. Dope Peddler

I need to hear this in a strip club. Shout out to lap dances. Word. This shit is redundant as fuck though.....that's all I got.

4. No Lie Ft. Drake

We've all heard this song before. I witnessed a party full of niggas and chicks and this song came on. Everyone jumped around singing drake's part I sat on the couch staring at them niggas like "man I'm blogging on you niggas soon as I get home". There were NO girls at the party son. No man should live like that. So how do I feel about the song?

*shrugs* Sounds like something I'd play if I was white college kid that drinks vodka from a funnel on a daily basis. Take that how you wanna take it.

5. Birthday Song

 All you want for your birthday is a big booty hoe? 

Really, 2chainz?

Really?

NIGGA I WANT THAT EVERYDAY

But I digress, this beat is decent. More stripping music. I give Chainz points for saying "Bands everywhere"

Hella bandz.....hella bandz. In the club throwing hella bandz.

This shit isn't that notable though. 

Oh there's Kanye West too.....

Man this nigga will never stop being corny and weird. Don't change, Kanye. But honestly, he killed 2Chainz on this. That's really not an accomplishment.

*listens to the last 40 seconds of the song*

Somebody please get the MPC away from Kanye?

6.I'm Different

Produced by Dj Mustard, yup, the rack city guy.

Man look Ima say this real quick. This is NOT something you can play if you're a bloggin ass nigga who don't know how to slap a chick's ass on the dance floor and look at her like "What?!" like it's HER fault you're a savage. This is party music. This is playing NBA 2009 with your drug dealing friends because even though they sell a copious amount of drugs they spend it all on ugly jordan sneakers and fresh durags instead of buying the new NBA games. 

This ain't no fucking bitch nigga music son.

With that being said, this song is cool.

7. Extremely Blessed ft. The Dream

Aight 2chainz wants to slow it down for the laaaaydiiiez. This beat is pretty dope, even though it sounds like a pretty ricky song from 2005 *cringes*.....I don't ever wanna feel how I did that year.  

2chainz decides to sit back as Dream serenades us with his winnie the pooh mixed with the hamburglar ass. As you should on a r and b track like this. I don't wanna hear about your crack selling 2chainz. Not right now, I'm busy. 

8. I Luve Dem Strippers feat Nicki Minaj

YEAH I LOVE DEM STRIPPERS

How do you make up a hook like this?....Like what kind of conversation were you having to inspire such a hook?

2chainz sounds really confrontational and insecure about himself on here.

Like you know what?.... YEAH I luv dem strippers. Don't you look at me like that Dijuan. I luv dem strippers. Yeah I said it.

Bravo 2chainz, I feel you.

Oh, what about the song? It fucking bangs. This nigga quotes New Edition "Telephone Man". The quote is so random and irrelevant I thought I was listening to Kool Keith again......my Freshman year was a weird time in my life.

Nicki almost sounds like Danny Brown with her flow. I'm dead fucking serious.

9. Stop me Now ft. Dolla Boy

This is the first beat that doesn't sound like traditional 2012 southern rap. Very soulful. 2chainz switches up the flow a bit. I appreciate the change in tone. This is most likely going to be a single with a awkward music video where 2chainz has a light skin chick that he's having a turbulent relationship with but at the end it's all good because he bought her a new lambhorghini and she's so thirsty that she has no choice to forgive him.

Scratch that, it's more drug talk and 2chainz telling us how real is he. MY  bad. Who's this Dolla Boy nigga? Is he another real nigga who sells drugs to the black community because the white man held him back in high school?

How creative.

This song was pretty decent minus the random outburst from Dolla Boy. Send him back to Atlanta....the gay black man capital. 

10. Money Machine

This song is dope as fuck for the beat alone. Even though the Birdman song with the same name is 10x better. Y'all bullshit as much as you want but Birdman is a great artist. Man...his verse on "Money To Blow" changed my life. I'm serious.

11. In Town ft. Mike Posner

Okay remember that paragraph I made about the music video with the light skin chick? THIS is the song. This is the smoothest song on the album so far. And Mike Posner produced it. Damn I give him props. Even though he sings like a talking inanimate object in a disney movie. This shit wavy as fuck brah. Free Max B so he can remix every billboard top 200 song in the past 4 years. Yes sir.

12.Ghetto Dreams ft.Scarface and John Legend

Ahh the typical "ITS SO HAAAAAAAARD.....LIVING IN THE DUTTY SOUF...SO MUCH DRUUUUUGS AND POVERTTTTTTY...LAWD WONT YOU SAAAVE MEEE....I DONT WANNA TAKE A NIGGAS LIIIIFE". You can already tell because of the featured guests and the track name.

But yo this song is pretty good. The sample sounds familiar. It sounds like "Usher - Throwback/J Dilla - Stop". 

I need more stripper shit cuh. Fuck this.

13. Wut We Doin feat. Cap.1

The way that southern people make hooks is amazing, so conversational.

What are we doing?....Getting to it. 

So literal. But yo this beat bangs but it sounds like typical southern shit nah mean? I want that next level shit if this is a major label album my nigga. I don't care if it's produced by the Stargate with Keyshia Cole's depressed ass on the hook. If I'm paying money I want the next level beats. 

Ehhhh....worst thing about it is this is the LAST song on the album dude lol. Like THIS is how it's gonna end. I ended this album feeling the same way I did before I heard it. No bueno.

This isn't bad, but it's not good either. Mind you, it's better than Rick Ross' album for 2chainz charisma alone. 

Now let's get to these bonus tracks

14.Countdown feat. Al B. Slapping Bitches

This beat is kinda dope, I don't like the hook. But I would still sing it in a strippers ear cause I'm a grimey nigga. Anyways, Al B. Slapping Bitches drops by to do a slow song for da romantic strippers n shit. I kinda fuck with it.

15.Like Me

So they decide to sample The Weeknd, eh? This nigga's voice is hilarious. So fragile....like if I saw Weeknd's voice in a magic forrest I'd walk slowly and tell it "It's okay....I'm not gonna hurt you."

Anyways, this beat is shrug-worthy. Just a bunch of synths and snares. Typical south shit. 

This isn't lap dance worthy either. If I can't bob my head to it or get a lap dance to it I don't even wanna hear it brah.

16. I Feel Good

This beat sounds like something a New York rapper would rap to in 2007. Take that how you wanna take it. Anyways, 2chainz saves this song from being snore worthy. Good thing it's 2 minutes long.

17. Riot

This is on the mixtape, right? I've heard this at parties last year so I think so. He's using that flow again. The beat is typical south shit. Don't get me wrong, I'd take my shirt off it throw air punches to this song. But would I purposely listen to it? Hell no.

I wish they released an acapella of this album and released a instrumental version of God Forgives I Dont. 

Cause honestly, 2chainz production bores the fuck outta me and Rick Ross' rapping bores the fuck outta me. You really can't win in hip hop anymore. :(

On a unrelated note. *splashes ciroc*