Aight I've been indifferent to this nigga 2chainz ever since he gained fame in the south around early 2011. I'm tryna be open minded and listen to niggas I don't give a fuck about instead of blasting Jodeci and Curren$y.
Lotta hip hop bloggin ass niggas hate 2chainz because cool people like 2chainz, but his verse on mercy was entertaining to say the least.
Even though that nigga made the mistake of making it obvious that he ran outta creative juice during the end of the verse.
"Rain.....pouring/ All my cars are foreign/ All my broads is foreign/...........ummmmm MONEY TALL LIKE JORDAN"
Yeah, nigga, I caught that shit. Nice try.
Nevertheless, you have to give 2chainz some kind of credit. He took Ace Hood's "Hustle Hard" flow and did an olympic gold medal earning dash with it. Not only did he do that, he made everyone else in the rap game rap like him. It's amazing.
Almost all of my favorite old rappers used that flow atleast once in the past year, and it hurts my heart. I'm looking at you, Pusha T.
No, YOUR Duncan Hines is irrelevant. I'm still copping that album when it comes out though Mr.T.
(Ha, I called him, Mr.T... Someone compensate me for this free swag juice that i give you niggas)
Anyways I'm getting ahead of myself, I have low expectations for this album. I atleast want something I can workout and seduce chicks to.
Man, y'all niggas can diss drake all you want but these Swag-generation chicks love him. I listen to him while I'm seducing a chick.
I'll listen to a million deaf babies cry if that's what a girl's into, I don't give a fuck. Either that or I get laughed at for playing Voodoo by D'angelo.......
Never again.......never again
Hold up, can I talk about the cover real quick?
This nigga really doesn't give a fuck about us, huh? Like....NO fucks whatsoever. Fuck being creative right? Word.
Rappers stay having horrible covers. I'm not even gonna comment on Wiz Khalifa.
But yo forreal, if I was a rapper I'd have the same cover Wiz Khalifa has. Except I'm chillin with a polar bear. And Im rockin a white turtleneck sweater matching with the polar bear's fur. But that's just me.
Wooooord.
1. Yuck ft. Lil Wayne
So this is how you wanna start your album off? Featuring lil wayne brah? Word. Cool
The first rap you hear is and I quote:
"I'm known to go donkey on a camel toe/And then turn that camel toe into a CASSEROOOOOLE"
OH my god 2chainz where have you been all of my life? No Homo vs. Capcom 2
THIS is how he starts his debut album dog. He has been signed to a label for like....12 years and noone gave a fuck about him till a year ago. AND THIS IS HOW HE RAPS.
2chainz I wanna apologize for ignoring you cause you really don't give a shit about NOTHING.
"Bitches on my dick like Brad Pitt" Lil wayne you tryna bite Lil B I got dirt on you doggie.
Now lemme tell you. 2chainz basically raps about how he's gonna fuck your girlfriend with his friends and he'll make sure to remind you he used to sell drugs to the black community......as if that's cool. But whatever.
Cool song, next track
This song is called Crack. No clever pun about drugs, no subtle allusion. Just Crack. Martin wept yo.
This beat is nice? I don't know, I wouldn't spend money on a album full of mixtape sounding beats. If I wanted that I'd go to livemixtapes. I'll give 2chainz respect for not raping the Ace Hood flow like usual. *shrugs*
"I DONT GIVE A FINUCK.....I DONT GIVE A FINUCK....TELL EM SUCK MY DINICK"
I predict a ocean of ratchet mothafuckas quoting this on their facebook status when they're not posting pics of themselves with one dollar bills aiming guns at the camer......
I live in the south, I see this daily.
3. Dope Peddler
I need to hear this in a strip club. Shout out to lap dances. Word. This shit is redundant as fuck though.....that's all I got.
4. No Lie Ft. Drake
We've all heard this song before. I witnessed a party full of niggas and chicks and this song came on. Everyone jumped around singing drake's part I sat on the couch staring at them niggas like "man I'm blogging on you niggas soon as I get home". There were NO girls at the party son. No man should live like that. So how do I feel about the song?
*shrugs* Sounds like something I'd play if I was white college kid that drinks vodka from a funnel on a daily basis. Take that how you wanna take it.
5. Birthday Song
All you want for your birthday is a big booty hoe?
Really, 2chainz?
Really?
NIGGA I WANT THAT EVERYDAY
But I digress, this beat is decent. More stripping music. I give Chainz points for saying "Bands everywhere"
Hella bandz.....hella bandz. In the club throwing hella bandz.
This shit isn't that notable though.
Oh there's Kanye West too.....
Man this nigga will never stop being corny and weird. Don't change, Kanye. But honestly, he killed 2Chainz on this. That's really not an accomplishment.
*listens to the last 40 seconds of the song*
Somebody please get the MPC away from Kanye?
6.I'm Different
Produced by Dj Mustard, yup, the rack city guy.
Man look Ima say this real quick. This is NOT something you can play if you're a bloggin ass nigga who don't know how to slap a chick's ass on the dance floor and look at her like "What?!" like it's HER fault you're a savage. This is party music. This is playing NBA 2009 with your drug dealing friends because even though they sell a copious amount of drugs they spend it all on ugly jordan sneakers and fresh durags instead of buying the new NBA games.
This ain't no fucking bitch nigga music son.
With that being said, this song is cool.
7. Extremely Blessed ft. The Dream
Aight 2chainz wants to slow it down for the laaaaydiiiez. This beat is pretty dope, even though it sounds like a pretty ricky song from 2005 *cringes*.....I don't ever wanna feel how I did that year.
2chainz decides to sit back as Dream serenades us with his winnie the pooh mixed with the hamburglar ass. As you should on a r and b track like this. I don't wanna hear about your crack selling 2chainz. Not right now, I'm busy.
8. I Luve Dem Strippers feat Nicki Minaj
YEAH I LOVE DEM STRIPPERS
How do you make up a hook like this?....Like what kind of conversation were you having to inspire such a hook?
2chainz sounds really confrontational and insecure about himself on here.
Like you know what?.... YEAH I luv dem strippers. Don't you look at me like that Dijuan. I luv dem strippers. Yeah I said it.
Bravo 2chainz, I feel you.
Oh, what about the song? It fucking bangs. This nigga quotes New Edition "Telephone Man". The quote is so random and irrelevant I thought I was listening to Kool Keith again......my Freshman year was a weird time in my life.
Nicki almost sounds like Danny Brown with her flow. I'm dead fucking serious.
9. Stop me Now ft. Dolla Boy
This is the first beat that doesn't sound like traditional 2012 southern rap. Very soulful. 2chainz switches up the flow a bit. I appreciate the change in tone. This is most likely going to be a single with a awkward music video where 2chainz has a light skin chick that he's having a turbulent relationship with but at the end it's all good because he bought her a new lambhorghini and she's so thirsty that she has no choice to forgive him.
Scratch that, it's more drug talk and 2chainz telling us how real is he. MY bad. Who's this Dolla Boy nigga? Is he another real nigga who sells drugs to the black community because the white man held him back in high school?
How creative.
This song was pretty decent minus the random outburst from Dolla Boy. Send him back to Atlanta....the gay black man capital.
10. Money Machine
This song is dope as fuck for the beat alone. Even though the Birdman song with the same name is 10x better. Y'all bullshit as much as you want but Birdman is a great artist. Man...his verse on "Money To Blow" changed my life. I'm serious.
11. In Town ft. Mike Posner
Okay remember that paragraph I made about the music video with the light skin chick? THIS is the song. This is the smoothest song on the album so far. And Mike Posner produced it. Damn I give him props. Even though he sings like a talking inanimate object in a disney movie. This shit wavy as fuck brah. Free Max B so he can remix every billboard top 200 song in the past 4 years. Yes sir.
12.Ghetto Dreams ft.Scarface and John Legend
Ahh the typical "ITS SO HAAAAAAAARD.....LIVING IN THE DUTTY SOUF...SO MUCH DRUUUUUGS AND POVERTTTTTTY...LAWD WONT YOU SAAAVE MEEE....I DONT WANNA TAKE A NIGGAS LIIIIFE". You can already tell because of the featured guests and the track name.
But yo this song is pretty good. The sample sounds familiar. It sounds like "Usher - Throwback/J Dilla - Stop".
I need more stripper shit cuh. Fuck this.
13. Wut We Doin feat. Cap.1
The way that southern people make hooks is amazing, so conversational.
What are we doing?....Getting to it.
So literal. But yo this beat bangs but it sounds like typical southern shit nah mean? I want that next level shit if this is a major label album my nigga. I don't care if it's produced by the Stargate with Keyshia Cole's depressed ass on the hook. If I'm paying money I want the next level beats.
Ehhhh....worst thing about it is this is the LAST song on the album dude lol. Like THIS is how it's gonna end. I ended this album feeling the same way I did before I heard it. No bueno.
This isn't bad, but it's not good either. Mind you, it's better than Rick Ross' album for 2chainz charisma alone.
Now let's get to these bonus tracks
14.Countdown feat. Al B. Slapping Bitches
This beat is kinda dope, I don't like the hook. But I would still sing it in a strippers ear cause I'm a grimey nigga. Anyways, Al B. Slapping Bitches drops by to do a slow song for da romantic strippers n shit. I kinda fuck with it.
15.Like Me
So they decide to sample The Weeknd, eh? This nigga's voice is hilarious. So fragile....like if I saw Weeknd's voice in a magic forrest I'd walk slowly and tell it "It's okay....I'm not gonna hurt you."
Anyways, this beat is shrug-worthy. Just a bunch of synths and snares. Typical south shit.
This isn't lap dance worthy either. If I can't bob my head to it or get a lap dance to it I don't even wanna hear it brah.
16. I Feel Good
This beat sounds like something a New York rapper would rap to in 2007. Take that how you wanna take it. Anyways, 2chainz saves this song from being snore worthy. Good thing it's 2 minutes long.
17. Riot
This is on the mixtape, right? I've heard this at parties last year so I think so. He's using that flow again. The beat is typical south shit. Don't get me wrong, I'd take my shirt off it throw air punches to this song. But would I purposely listen to it? Hell no.
I wish they released an acapella of this album and released a instrumental version of God Forgives I Dont.
Cause honestly, 2chainz production bores the fuck outta me and Rick Ross' rapping bores the fuck outta me. You really can't win in hip hop anymore. :(
On a unrelated note. *splashes ciroc*
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