FUCK ANDRE

I DONT CARE IF HE APOLOGIZED, FUCK ANDRE

Usually I don't do this but uhhhh

Lemme break you off with this guest blog I did a few months ago. It never got posted because I'm too trill so fuck it.


"Bastard" review Fuck with mee.

Tyler, The Creator – Bastard review

“Shocker, right? Cause Tyler, the Creator definitely needs to be talked about more. *insert long introduction about the rise of Odd Future and how offended I am* 

One thing you gotta understand about Tyler and his crew is that they perfectly represent the Swag-Generation (for those who don’t know, Swag-Generation is my term for kids who came of age in the 2000’s and grew up on hip hop. The bold underline font is required. Always.) and our sense of humor. We grew up on the internet so instant gratification and tasteless jokes are basically our forte, feel me? So, what’s so great about Bastard in the first place? Lemme start off off top by saying if you’re a fairy nipple* who takes music seriously you’re going to hate this (*I’m not allowed to say the magic n-word in this word so I’m going to replace it with random two syllable n-words). Like this is the type of shit the weird kid who sits in the back of class drawing dead people listens to, okay? Even though, it’s obvious Tyler isn’t really bout that life. But that’s neither here nor there. Where we at? In hood. Where we at? On the corner.

Bastard

Okay so here’s the concept, Tyler is soooo different and angsty that he needs to see the school counselor. From what I gather Tyler grew up without a dad so it gives him carte blanche to be a dick. Suddenly, a racist reader just sighed and said “Oh, where have I heard that story before”. Shut up, racist, we discussing real nugget shit over here, brah. But yeah, as I was saying, the summary of the story is Tyler’s a butthurt teenager that raps, Kay? Speaking of butthurt, Tyler starts off by letting us know that he’s butthurt that the blogs ignored him. L. What about the music? Well, Tyler is a sick ass producer, the thing about the Swag-Generation is that we were all influenced in some shape form or fashion by the Neptunes. They basically dominated the 2000 airwaves, no contest. Fight me. Tyler decides to do an annoying 5+ minute song with no drums, just a piano and strings. If Tyler didn’t have the voice of a sexually offensive Morgan Freeman in 1955 Tyler would sound like a bitch-ass Nigel Thornberry. Don’t get me wrong, this song’s dope for the first 2 minutes…then it keeps going…and going till all of a sudden you’re watching porn again not because you’re actually horny. Just because you’re bored to death and the only thing that will save you is breasts….huge breasts. But yeah, I like the fact he flat out says “I cut my wrists and play piano cause I’m so depressed”, it shows that he’s self-aware. If anything, it sets the mood and gives a good introduction to what Tyler/Odd Future stands for. Random pop culture references and shock imagery. I give him props for shouting out Aaron Hall though. That’s amazing. Moving on...

2.Seven

So umm, Tyler decides to rap for 3 minutes again without a hook. This is a horrible trend in hip hop. None of you new Nigerians rapping are good enough to rap a full length song without a hook. Tyler’s an interesting rapper, but I don’t CARE about your rapping my nickel. We need a hook from Amerie (shit, NOONE ever says…EVER) or something cause I don’t give a fuck homie. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad song at all, but it’s not good either. Let’s just say I’m this close to going back to xvideos. I’m curious if gay people listen to hip hop. Cause uhhh……

3.Odd Toddlers featuring Casey Veggies

This song was actually on the Odd Future Tape that came out back in 2008-2009……so guess what? Skip this shit. Nevermind the fact it’s ANOTHER song where he raps with no hook. Nevermind the fact this beat is literally “One Beer” by MF Doom. Nevermind that this is boring. You know what? It’s time for Sara Jay…..

4.French! featuring Hodgy Beats

Now THIS is what I’m talking about my noggin. This beat bangs hard as hell. Tyler comes in the most memorable verse opener I’ve heard in years. “Got all the black bitches mad cause my main bitch vanilla”. I never understood why black women get mad when we got a white chick it’s like yo. It’s like ice cream, feel me? I’m tryna lick as many as I can before I die THESE NOVELS WONT HOLD ME BACK. Nothing personal. This hook is dope as fuck as well. I think Hodgy is underrated as a member of Odd Future, I feel like’s the most straight forward rapper in the group. But I mean, in the Swag-Generation you gotta have a gimmick. Dope song regardless though. This sounds like Chuck Inglish in hell. Fuck with me.

5. Blow

Tyler tells us a story about how he doesn’t want to take a girl on a date, he just wants to rape her and do coke. I can relate, totally. Cause I’m a real nicotine. But this beat though? Shit sounds west coast as fuck. Like Dam-Funk or Dj Quik if they were using Fruity Loops: Fisher Price editon. The thing about this album is….you can’t play this round bitches man. You just can’t, unless it’s a weird chick who visits 4chan. But those type of girls don’t count, cause I mean….they obviously are twisted and like being tied up during sex. I can’t deal with that again. So far Tyler has two great songs in a row, keep it up my navy.

6.Pigs Fly featuring Domo Genesis

This is a chill song, probably a throwaway from Domo Genesis’ Rolling Papers album. Shit was boring as hell, I just list Paradeened to it and I can’t tell you anything about it. 

7. Parade

This beat is really out of this world. Tyler mastered synths I gotta give him that. One thing I noticed about this album compared to Goblin is Tyler obviously has nothing to talk about. On Goblin you find Tyler trying to deal with this newfound fame and you seem him experiment with actual song structure. On Bastard it’s just “Hey, I’m gonna rap for 40 seconds and give you hook a few times then the songs gonna be over okay? If you’re lucky I’ll let you here a conversation between me and myself with the pitch slowed down” Yaaaaawn.

8.Slow It Down

Another song from the Odd Future Tape…..SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP BIIIIITCH

9. Assmilk ft. Earl Sweatshirt

This song is monumental in the Odd Future catalog. Tyler and Earl trade raps back and forth over a great beat. This personifies Odd Future perfectly. Earl saves this song from being boring obviously. On the outside looking in, this song is basically a circle jerk of two high school boys bragging about raping imaginary bitches. Still a dope song regardless. 

10.VCR/Wheels

This is hands down the best song on the album, if you don’t like Tyler just play this shit. It’s sad how the first half is so short. This beat is the waviest shit I’ve heard ina minute. It shows a glimpse of Tyler’s genius. Even though he’s rapping about rape again he’s undeniable from a artistic standpoint.

(Sidenote: It’s obvious this nelly got rejected a lot in school, got damn. Show me on the doll where they hurt you brah. If you listen closely you can hear the teardrops hit the microphone in synch with the hihats.)

11.Session featuring Hodgy Beats and BRandun Deshay/Mike G

Okay, hilarious story, there are two versions of Bastard. The original has this song with Brandun Deshay on the third verse, the second version has this song but Brandun Deshay is replaced with Mike G. For those who don’t know, Mike G is literally the worst rapper in Odd Future, probably the worst rapper to exist in the 2000s. I’m serious. Apparently Brandun Deshay and Tyler have beef because Tyler’s a butthurt Nissan like usual. Brandun seems like a douchebag though, I follow homie on twitter (I’m @TrillTabernacle by the way, fuck with ya boy *insert more hip hop clichés*) It’s unfortunate because Bradun is a great artist. Like REALLY great. He actually killed Hodgy and Tyler on this song. I want homie to win yo. Anyways, this song is decent. Another hookless rap circle jerk, basically.

12. Sarah

This shit sound like fucking 80’s synth pop oh my god someone shoot me in the dick it would feel so great right now. That’s sad because I LOVE 80’s synth pop. Nite and Day by Al B. Sure is destined to be on repeat at my funeral. That, and “Mack is Back” by Kool Keith. Kool Keith is probably the worst artist to play in a social event. But fuck you, Mom and Dad, I’m edgy.

13. Jack and the Beanstalk

Tyler himself stated he hates this song.

I do too. 

14.Tina Featuring Jasper and Taco

This song is brilliant. Like, I’m serious. Odd Future basically shits on the hip hop game with this. The nonsensical hook, the semi-trap beat, the ridiculous verses. This is amazing, even though Bitch Suck Dick on Goblin is better. Actually, Goblin does everything Tyler did on this album except 4 times better. 

But dude, they pause the beat so this dude can eat fucking chips. What in the fucking world.

15. Inglorious

So Tyler closes this album 5 times more butthurt than he started it. YOU NEED A FUCKING MY HUG MY NIXON

Damn!

If I was Tyler’s dad I would be laughing my ass like damn son, u still mad? Get some bitches….I’d be a horrible father. ;_; 

Can someone do an interview with this dude’s dad? That’d be the greatest thing ever. Pause MTV VH1 and BET simultaneously so we can watch this like it’s a kanye west video premiere. It is THAT important.

All jokes aside, this song is kinda sad when given the context. This dude talking about killing himself and shit cause daddy wasn’t there n shit. Like…that’s sad.

Nah fuck that, he jokes about sexually abused chicks I can laugh at this emo shit.

Best songs: French, VCR/Wheels, Blow, Parade, Assmilk

This album is interesting form a cultural standpoint. But is the music generally good? Hell no, if you want to see Tyler at his best buy Goblin. Don’t listen to what the bloggin ass muthafuckas say. This album is not that good.

*grows Max B esque perm and rides off on a surfboard*

Chiillll

I've been tryna to do this college shit and whatnot so a young nigga is neglecting the fuck outta the bloglife. I've sent some guest posts to other blogs and sites that didn't get used (they some fuck niggas) so I'll throw em out there for yall.

Quick update: I recently learned about the greatness Kale (look it up, shit prevents cancer and has a whole buncha nutrients n shit that I have no idea about)

That webcam stripper thing I was talking about a few posts ago? Failure.

I've been blowing chicks off for my studies so I'm officially a weirdo.

I rap better than you

Employers won't hire a nigga cause a student can't be full-time. (They gon get this work, fuck em)

I'm black and I didn't vote for Obama, suck it brah brah.

White/Wheat flour raises your blood sugar so I'm tryna fuck with alternative flours (rice, almond coconut).


*insert random video*

EDIT:
And forreal forreal you bloggin ass niggas are dying of thirst. Can't wait to dickride the latest nigga. Got damn.


Ain't nobody save hip hop. We good. 

How do I survive music from the Swag-Generation?

I know I know....you're upset. Ever since Brown Sugar was filmed you've been upset that there arn't enough yoga rappers to satisfy your pseudo black militancy. What do you do? Do you stay in your hyperbolic time-chamber full of Public Enemy vinyls? Do you sip chai tea out of your mug while wearing your limited edition Ghostface Killah robe while waiting for the next Talib Kweli album?


Im getting ahead of myself...NOONE is waiting for the next Talib Kweli album. :(

What do you do when you're stuck in the 90's/80's yet you're growing bored of listening to the same ol' music solely  so you can feel like an individual for once in your life?


You vibrate higher, you fucking fuck

Like I stated in my first post, I'm here to coach you into the Swag-Generation as easily as possible.

So where do we start? Who are some new rappers you should look out for?



Let me introduce you to Neako

From: New Jersey

Age: 26

Don't let the cliche jesus piece, bright clothes, and cocky facial expression fool you. Neako is a self-produced rapper, and he's skilled at both.

He's collab'd with some of your favorite mixtape rappers (and Wiz Khalifa, but please don't mention it to him) yet he remains low-key because of his refusal to conform.

My reference to Wiz Khalifa should warn you, Neako is def a weed-rapper. What makes him special enough for a blog post? His distinctive-voice, atmospheric (and generally sample-free) beats, and intricate storytelling lyrics will have you hooked.

As of 2006-2012 he's dropped 12 mixtapes, that's 2 mixtapes a year. This nigga is prolific. Neako exemplifies what I love about the Swag-Generation so much. You can literally witness an artist's growth as they upload mixtape after mixtape every year. Nothing is obscure on the internet. If it's good, we will hear it. Your favorite obscure hip hop album from the 90's isn't obscure anymore. Everyone's downloading it as we speak.....and we're going to delete that boring shit in 2 days to make room for more Codi Bryant. I gives no fuck.

Compare this (2006)

To this (2009)

And this (2011)

Neako can take a simple idea and stretch it for 6 bars if he wanted to

"It's god given, like god hit em
And told him, that he was comin to get him
And he brought something with him...
...
And I received that"

Neako suffers (I use the term suffer losely) from the same addiction Kanye does. And that's being a producer. Neako will rap over someone elses beat and soup it up to the point it's not even the same vibe.

He also has an affinity for throwing live instruments over trap beats, which is always welcome.


For example:

As you weave through his catalog, you'll be rewarded by Neako as you catch the constant references to older work and ideas. If you follow Neako on twitter you'll be lost by the secret code that him and his followers speak.  Neako's not the type of artist you can just jump into and claim he's your favorite. His followers will embarrass you, I've seen it.....I've seen it all.

Saying the word "embarrass" referring to fucking TWITTER is uncomfortably corny =/.

With that being said...

Follow the young black jesus so you can get your daily fix of angsty black teenage snark while I'm neglecting my blog. @TrillTabernacle

As I was saying


If you can handle some misogyny and  some drug references (which I know you can, cause you listen to fucking REASONABLE DOUBT) then you'll be able to handle Neako. Get on the bandwagon, he's making moves

Recommended listening: Rubix Cube: The Yellow Edition (His Magnum Opus in my opinion)

The Number 23 (If you want to understand the direction of his newer music, bump this)



Next up...



Ro Ransom

From: Harlem, New York

Age: 19

The youngest, and most overlooked artist in this post is probably the most lyrically talented. Ro (originally named Nero, I don't know what the fuck happened) gained my attention from his show-stealing verse on Casey Veggies "30,000"

I mean....it can't be that hard to steal a song from Casey Veggies (sorry Casey, Sleeping In Class is my shit but.......) but his verse was def one of the most interesting pieces of young nigga shit talking I've heard in a minute.

"She asked me why I sound so passionate rapping.....I told her if I say it, it actually happened"

Ro is my favorite shit-talker when it comes to rapping. I have reason to believe Harlem niggas are the most disrespectful niggas out there. Shout out to A$ap Rocky for throwing a bottle full of piss at a club-bouncer. Shout out to the Cam'Ron for the intro to Public Enemy #1 and the song "You Gotta Hate It".  Free Max B.

Check out this shit

Ro is by far one of the most honest rappers out here (Homie brags about drinking iced tea and streaming anime for free. I can't make this up) he gets into his feelings every now-and-then, but it's never overwhelming. He's a no-filter rapper that'll talk his shit and cry afterwards. ....but not in a bitch way. More like a Cuba-Gooding-Swinging-At-The-Air-In-Boyz-In-The-Hood way. One thing you'll notice about most of these rappers I show respect to is, you can tell they know their history. Neako goes from rapping over Lex-Luger beats to rapping over J-Dilla on the same mixtape.

Ro is no different. He goes from paying homage to DJ Screw, rapping over M.I.A., singing over a underratted Missy Eliott and Timbo classic (Take Away) in the same mixtape. You can tell Ransom started off as a spitter but slowed it down to fit the mold of the Swag-Generation, and I respect that. We don't need another Busta Rhymes* (speaking of Busta Rhymes....). If you want less misogyny and drugs and more honesty and clever lyrics. Check this nigga out.


Recommended listening: Ransomnia 




Next up, Danny Swain

From: South Carolina
Age: 29 (DAMN THIS NIGGA OLD, WHUT IT DO)

Is it......too late for me to write about Danny! ? As a nigga who's been bumping his shit for years I'm weirded out about how fast he blew up. I havn't heard his anticipated Payback! album yet since I'm a broke nigga and I don't like pirating artists I respect (that's why I got a computer full of Rick Ross and 2chainz). But why should you listen to him? He's by far the most hilarious rapper out there as of now. Well atleast when he's not  moping about how deez niggaz wan hol him bak.He's the complete opposite of the Swap-Generation yet he fits in perfectly. You see, he's not obsessed with drugs and bitches, more like ridiculous pop culture references and making fun of your favorite rapper. He's basically Childish Gambino except he's not a bag of flaming hot cheetos. He's also a self-producing rapper who you should def know about if you're a Danny Brown fan.

And no, listening to XXX does not make you a fucking Danny Brown fan you fucking fuck.

But I digress, Danny has the most ridiculous story-line as a rapper. After he got kicked out of college for being paid to change people's grades, he starts his music career and ends up beefing with fellow South Carolina resident Charlemagne the God Hip Hop's Favorite Ninja Turtle (Sorry Young Jeezy :( )

After hella self-released albums and beattapes, a fucked deal with Def Jux, and a shelved album (that is apparently the greatest thing ever made that no will ever hear because Danny re-made it from the ground up) Danny ends up getting cosigned by Jay-z and ?uestlove. Now he's on Jimmy Fallon. I'm recalling this shit from memory so the sequence of events are prolly fucked.

I say that to say, Danny is killing it right now on the low-key. He has all this internet press but I still feel he's fairly underground. That's a good thing because that means we can get THIS SHIT . (*A collection of prank calls....most of them to Busta Rhymes)

Danny isn't a public figure as of yet so he's basically immune to the politics of the game. This nigga has been terrorizing Tyrese and Busta Rhymes for months.

Danny is the biggest hip hop troll out there. The thing about it is he has the skills to back it up

Recommonded listening: Support his latest release "Payback"

F.O.O.D. (2005)


Danny released all of his music for free on his tumblr about a year ago, I'm not gonna link tho you gotta take the journey.






***BONUS BUSTA RHYMES SLANDER*** 

http://bustarhymesgavemeherpes.blogspot.com/


*DJ CLUE VOICE* NEW HEAT 

https://twitter.com/BustaRhymesHerp

I don't care about black people

Sensational title aside, it's true. I don't care about black people. I don't mean this in a negative way, nor a positive way. I sincerely don't care about black people.

I can't pinpoint when I came to this revelation, I think back to 2008 when Obama was running for president. When I heard about it my response was simply "Oh...that's cool" then I went back to myspace macking and listening to Nas' latest album. Seeing as I lived in the south, I wasn't surprised everyone was in a frenzy. I mean, chances are if there's a black family that lived in the south for generations they were the slaves that never escaped ( :(  ); I understood they were excited. Then I noticed everytime I turned on the t.v. or listened to a song everyone was wet about Obama. I didn't realize how much I didn't care at the time because, well, I didn't care enough to think about it.

Throughout high school I've seen a lot of my niggas get in altercations with white students over racial shit. I'd sit in the back dying laughing while egging them on (bitch it was high school, don't judge me) but in the back of my mind I knew I was laughing AT them. The fact they were so insecure about their black history that they had to practically beg others to respect them saddened me. Don't get me wrong, I take pride in my blackness; I don't take pride in OTHER's blackness though. Which brings me to election day.

For those who don't remember, there was a huge inauguration ceremony welcoming Obama into the white house. As the ceremony begun, Aretha Fucking Franklin "My Country, Tis of Thee" to honor Barack. This was by far the blackest thing to happen in the White House since The Coolest President Ever played the saxophone. As I looked at the tv screen showing Aretha singing her heart attempting to melodically fellate   the president, I turned to the side to look at my mom (who begged me to watch the ceremony) with tears in her eyes.

I felt nothing. Literally nothing.

If my mom's tears can't move me to give a fuck either I'm a horrible person or I don't care about black people.

What I mean by that is, Obama's successful presidential campaign has nothing to do with me, he doesn't represent me as a black male. The same way Chief Keef's music doesn't represent me as a black teen. I don't base my achievements and failures on what other black people are doing. I don't live vicariously through their melanin.

When I see a bad representation of black people in public I don't feel ashamed, they're not me. If I see a black man achieve I'm not going to cry tears of joy because a black person won. I'll congratulate them as a man and keep it moving.

Which brings me to present day, 4 years after Obama got elected it is time for yet another election. I still havn't registered. I never liked the idea of voting. The bullet is stronger than the ballot, if people really want to make a difference......nevermind. My parents were unsurprisingly upset that me and brother choose not to vote for the lesser of two evils. We got the typical "blacks have died for you to...." speech.

Let's be real, for some blacks, this isn't about politics, it's about Black vs. White. Be honest with yourselves, we all talk about Obama vs. Romney meanwhile the minor parties probably have "better" candidates and you probably couldn't even name one.

There's a time for everything. There's a time for "Us vs. Them" and then there's a time to be an individual. When the revolution starts holla at me, until then, shut up and vote for another wack politician and pray to white jesus. Whatever.

Trill Baking Tips for the healthy mofuckas

Add a tablespoon (or 2) of Soy Flour to all of your breads or treats if you want to keep it moist and fresh. Make sure you properly sift it because soy flour is extremely clumpy. Your shit will be staying soft like me watching a gay porno. You're welcome.

Swag-Generation Pioneers Honors: #1 Cam'ron

Now for those that missed my introduction post , my blog is supposed to be used as an instructional manual on how to survive the Swag-Generation; for old niggas and the lost young niggas. Now in order for us to understand what the Swag-Generation is and where it's going.....you gotta understand where the fuck it came from. There are certain people in pop culture that indirectly contributed to the birth of Swag-Generation. Ghostface Killa..Kool Keith...Grand Puba....Ricky Martin. The list could go on. But let's start with Cam'ron, the head honcho of the (now defunct?) Dipset crew.

This nigga EMERGES from underground in the most outlandish outfit ever (though in 2004 it would be considered...somewhat normal) and hops in a pink car that conveniently has models waiting to open the door for him. THIS is Swag-Generation. The mixture of nonchalance and belligerent smartassery is what makes the Swag-Generaion prosper. Believe it or not, Dipset is the Wu-Tang of the 2000's....the Run-DMC of the 2000's. They weren't just a rap group, they were a movement. Everything Cam'ron said or did was so ridiculous you're not sure if he was fucking with you, and his deadpan delivery doesn't help either.

Anyone curious about the Swag-Generation is like needs to take a look at #BlackTwitter. A playground for unadulterated snark and hyperbole. Cam'ron's left-field one liners back in 2002-2006 would thrive in the Twitter world. Not only that, the infamous Bill O Reily clip sparked the biggest internet meme in hip hop history.

Umad?

(Skip to 8:06 )

This is a (somewhat) serious show about politics, the thing is....Cam'ron doesn't care. He'll come on your and insult you then use your show to promote his album. The same way someone will hack you twitter and tweet non-sense then proceed to promote their latest mixtape afterwards. The Swag-Generation really doesn't care about being politically correct, if it's funny you're basically fucked. People like Tyler, The Creator and Lil B wouldn't exist without the brilliance of Cam'ron. Cam'ron destroyed the fabric of arguments. No one is safe from "U mad?", no matter what your background is.

He was a martyr for Douchebags, if you will. Dare I say he was hip-hop's first troll? Do you remember his random youtube videos during the 50 Cent feud where he would just stare at the camera for 30 seconds for no reason? I still don't understand what that was supposed to do.

A$ap Rocky owes his career to Cam'Ron (And Spaceghostpurrp, but that's a different story), I remember reading a story about how Rocky threw a bottle full of piss at a club bouncer because he wouldn't let him in. That sounds like something Jim Jones would do. Not the Love & Hip Hop Jim Jones, I'm talking about the 2003 Jim Jones that looked homeless no matter what he was wearing. To this day you can't convince me he knows how to shower properly.

The Dipset crew had no song structure whatsoever, they rapped over Heatmakerz beats about the most random topics until the hook came. The thing is, their raps were so overboard combined with the obnoxious beats you had no choice but to love it.

That's why I have to salute Cam'Ron as the one of the leading foundations of the Swag-Generation, your arrogance changed my life. Thank you.