I don't care about black people

Sensational title aside, it's true. I don't care about black people. I don't mean this in a negative way, nor a positive way. I sincerely don't care about black people.

I can't pinpoint when I came to this revelation, I think back to 2008 when Obama was running for president. When I heard about it my response was simply "Oh...that's cool" then I went back to myspace macking and listening to Nas' latest album. Seeing as I lived in the south, I wasn't surprised everyone was in a frenzy. I mean, chances are if there's a black family that lived in the south for generations they were the slaves that never escaped ( :(  ); I understood they were excited. Then I noticed everytime I turned on the t.v. or listened to a song everyone was wet about Obama. I didn't realize how much I didn't care at the time because, well, I didn't care enough to think about it.

Throughout high school I've seen a lot of my niggas get in altercations with white students over racial shit. I'd sit in the back dying laughing while egging them on (bitch it was high school, don't judge me) but in the back of my mind I knew I was laughing AT them. The fact they were so insecure about their black history that they had to practically beg others to respect them saddened me. Don't get me wrong, I take pride in my blackness; I don't take pride in OTHER's blackness though. Which brings me to election day.

For those who don't remember, there was a huge inauguration ceremony welcoming Obama into the white house. As the ceremony begun, Aretha Fucking Franklin "My Country, Tis of Thee" to honor Barack. This was by far the blackest thing to happen in the White House since The Coolest President Ever played the saxophone. As I looked at the tv screen showing Aretha singing her heart attempting to melodically fellate   the president, I turned to the side to look at my mom (who begged me to watch the ceremony) with tears in her eyes.

I felt nothing. Literally nothing.

If my mom's tears can't move me to give a fuck either I'm a horrible person or I don't care about black people.

What I mean by that is, Obama's successful presidential campaign has nothing to do with me, he doesn't represent me as a black male. The same way Chief Keef's music doesn't represent me as a black teen. I don't base my achievements and failures on what other black people are doing. I don't live vicariously through their melanin.

When I see a bad representation of black people in public I don't feel ashamed, they're not me. If I see a black man achieve I'm not going to cry tears of joy because a black person won. I'll congratulate them as a man and keep it moving.

Which brings me to present day, 4 years after Obama got elected it is time for yet another election. I still havn't registered. I never liked the idea of voting. The bullet is stronger than the ballot, if people really want to make a difference......nevermind. My parents were unsurprisingly upset that me and brother choose not to vote for the lesser of two evils. We got the typical "blacks have died for you to...." speech.

Let's be real, for some blacks, this isn't about politics, it's about Black vs. White. Be honest with yourselves, we all talk about Obama vs. Romney meanwhile the minor parties probably have "better" candidates and you probably couldn't even name one.

There's a time for everything. There's a time for "Us vs. Them" and then there's a time to be an individual. When the revolution starts holla at me, until then, shut up and vote for another wack politician and pray to white jesus. Whatever.

Trill Baking Tips for the healthy mofuckas

Add a tablespoon (or 2) of Soy Flour to all of your breads or treats if you want to keep it moist and fresh. Make sure you properly sift it because soy flour is extremely clumpy. Your shit will be staying soft like me watching a gay porno. You're welcome.

Swag-Generation Pioneers Honors: #1 Cam'ron

Now for those that missed my introduction post , my blog is supposed to be used as an instructional manual on how to survive the Swag-Generation; for old niggas and the lost young niggas. Now in order for us to understand what the Swag-Generation is and where it's going.....you gotta understand where the fuck it came from. There are certain people in pop culture that indirectly contributed to the birth of Swag-Generation. Ghostface Killa..Kool Keith...Grand Puba....Ricky Martin. The list could go on. But let's start with Cam'ron, the head honcho of the (now defunct?) Dipset crew.

This nigga EMERGES from underground in the most outlandish outfit ever (though in 2004 it would be considered...somewhat normal) and hops in a pink car that conveniently has models waiting to open the door for him. THIS is Swag-Generation. The mixture of nonchalance and belligerent smartassery is what makes the Swag-Generaion prosper. Believe it or not, Dipset is the Wu-Tang of the 2000's....the Run-DMC of the 2000's. They weren't just a rap group, they were a movement. Everything Cam'ron said or did was so ridiculous you're not sure if he was fucking with you, and his deadpan delivery doesn't help either.

Anyone curious about the Swag-Generation is like needs to take a look at #BlackTwitter. A playground for unadulterated snark and hyperbole. Cam'ron's left-field one liners back in 2002-2006 would thrive in the Twitter world. Not only that, the infamous Bill O Reily clip sparked the biggest internet meme in hip hop history.

Umad?

(Skip to 8:06 )

This is a (somewhat) serious show about politics, the thing is....Cam'ron doesn't care. He'll come on your and insult you then use your show to promote his album. The same way someone will hack you twitter and tweet non-sense then proceed to promote their latest mixtape afterwards. The Swag-Generation really doesn't care about being politically correct, if it's funny you're basically fucked. People like Tyler, The Creator and Lil B wouldn't exist without the brilliance of Cam'ron. Cam'ron destroyed the fabric of arguments. No one is safe from "U mad?", no matter what your background is.

He was a martyr for Douchebags, if you will. Dare I say he was hip-hop's first troll? Do you remember his random youtube videos during the 50 Cent feud where he would just stare at the camera for 30 seconds for no reason? I still don't understand what that was supposed to do.

A$ap Rocky owes his career to Cam'Ron (And Spaceghostpurrp, but that's a different story), I remember reading a story about how Rocky threw a bottle full of piss at a club bouncer because he wouldn't let him in. That sounds like something Jim Jones would do. Not the Love & Hip Hop Jim Jones, I'm talking about the 2003 Jim Jones that looked homeless no matter what he was wearing. To this day you can't convince me he knows how to shower properly.

The Dipset crew had no song structure whatsoever, they rapped over Heatmakerz beats about the most random topics until the hook came. The thing is, their raps were so overboard combined with the obnoxious beats you had no choice but to love it.

That's why I have to salute Cam'Ron as the one of the leading foundations of the Swag-Generation, your arrogance changed my life. Thank you.

Gang Violence?.....We need more of it.

Hold up hold up don't try to play me like that, I know this sounds absurd but I'm dead serious. People have been talking about Chief Keef and Lil Reese lately and they keep saying they want to stop the violence in the black community......but why?

Me personally? I admire the niggas in gangs, though I don't agree with their code of ethics and whatnot. But you have to respect the passion niggas in gangs have for their crew. You rarely see such teamwork and unity in American teenagers. Their minds are in the right place, they're just executing it horribly. We get it, they're young, black, and angry. By the time they reach their teens it's too late to change that. So what do we do? Redirect their anger for rival gangs to the corrupt political leaders, my nigga.

Feel me? No you fucking don't.

I mean, if you're already crazy enough to kill you might as well make it worth it. Why kill a nigga who's just as broke and worthless as you? Let's step it up to the next level. Shit, I'd join a gang if given the choice.

But not necessarily Bloods/Crips.....more like Black Panthers.

Feel me?

I mean shit, these niggas are already a lost cause we might as well turn them to soldiers instead of gangsters.


But Brando, what are YOU doing for the cause?

Ha...I'm glad you asked, imaginary commenter *stares at empty comment box*, I'm going to move to Southside Chicago and I'm going to impregnate a hoodrat on purpose.


You heard me.


Afterwards I will fake my death. I got killed by a politician yo. I won't specify which one cause then my son know who to hate. That'll ruin the plan.

You see, after my death I will leave behind a bunch of books full of all the info he needs to know about America. Sooner or later he will grow up as a hateful militant instead of a confused thug and he will start his own Black Panther crew. Spreading out to Michigan, Kentucky, and New Jersey.

When the revolution starts all you prolly do is snitch though.

See what I did? I redirected his anger, my nigga. But y'all tryna extinguish the fires burning inside these niggas. You're trying to ruin their passion. You should be ashamed.

Now let's talk about drug dealing and how horrible it is. Why though? These kids are starting their own business selling drugs, you can't hate them for taking advantage of people who already gave up on life. Drug dealers are no different than food companies that sell products with High Fructose Corn Syrup. If people are dumb enough to consume it and pay money for it who are you to play God? (my bad if you're atheist, eat a dick for caring though.)

Instead of punishing high schoolers for selling drugs, take them on a field trip to an Upper class area. Give them coke and ecstasy to sell to the teenagers. All the money they make from that, give it to the community to build better schools and whatever the fuck  you niggas need. I call it Robin Hood Trapping

But y'all don't hear me though, y'all too busy shaking your head at Lil Mouse's classic video and doing absolutely nothing about it. Don't fuck around with them fuck arounds.


People see Chief Keef laughing at Lil Jojo's death and say "I'm so appalled! He's laughing at death!"

I see a future Black Panther that could change the world. Think about it, if Chief Keef started rapping about the Revolution and lighting Incense after murdering people and fucking bitches that would be AMAZING.


Can we get Dead Prez and Jay Electronica to ghost write for Chief Keef too?

You see murderers and drug dealers, I see talent. I see potential. Fuck the Election.